(almost) exclusive

even before i give birth , i was really planning to breastfeed joaquin most of the time. as long as i have the strength il do it, and not by pumping milk but by latching him on. and yeah.. i was able to do it for 2 months. I gave birth during an extremely hot weather here ( good friday when we chcked out of the hospital)and bet yah, its not easy to latch on a newborn (so delicate, but a "barracuda sucker" hahaha) wanting his dose of milk. a lot of things drained my strength then (even until now).. lack of sleep, bottle cleaning, nappy change, bath time, my personal hygiene blah blah blah blah... so there.. i stopped at 2 months.

i often wonder how other moms out there could exclusively breastfeed or somehow breastfeed for a longer time. maybe, they have other people to help them out in taking care of their little bunnies. and thats one thing that i dont have... and im so proud to say that i am (almost) exclusively taking care of my son.

my daily life wud exceed a yaya's usual day. i take care of joaquin the moment he opens his eyes.. til he closes it for bed time at night. our maid is just there to look for him when i eat and clean bottles. literally, just look, di nya kaya magbuhat ng baby, no experience and she's afraid na sumthing might happen to joaquin pag kinarga nya. but she is soo patient to talk and play with him. gelo wud take care of him the moment he arrives, the most wud be 2 hrs on a weekday. and recently, joaquin wants ME to put him to sleep. he wud cry his lungs out pag si gelo ang nagpapatulog sa knya. poor me... ako pa din pag gabi. hahaha! and my sis is soo busy at work, im so lucky if she can take care of joaquin for 30 mins.

and why no yaya? its our decision. no offense to moms and babies na may yaya ha.. but we just want our son to be really close to us. or shud i say closer to us than sa yaya's. im not working naman, kaya i have the time. but the strength... un ang kinukulang ako everyday. and believe me, it takes a lot of patience to take care of a baby boy who is growing up soo fast and starting to explore things around him. truly, he takes my strength. but just a simple simple from him would complete my day.

i cant sleep without him on my side. im used to it. yes, he co sleeps with me and gelo in one bed. i tried putting him in his bassinet, and i ended up waking up every 15 or 30 mins just to check him out. mas nakakapagod. and theres a lot of benefit from that (in my case).. 1) i can feel when he is hungry in the midst of the night, he keeps on moving, and it doesnt come to a point na umiiyak sya, the moment i feel that, i prepare his milk. since he was born, he sleeps soundly, he wud drink his milk pro naka pikit pa din. hahaha! so far, never pa sya gising at night. 2) i can simply feel whenever he wants something... bsta.. moms instinct na yta yun.

i may not have given him breastmilk for a longer time, but knowing that i am always with him ,seeing him and taking care of him simply makes me appreciate motherhood more than anything else.