no goodbyes. just see you soon

This is one of the reasons on why I wasn't able to go online for almost two weeks. I was thinking of writing this last week, but don't have the strength yet. I guess now is the best time.

Papa Fred, Gelo's dad and my father - in - law was sick for quite some time now. He was the reason on why we went to Iloilo last December. HE had a major operation with his gall bladder and intestines. But its a different story pa. Papa was diagnosed of TB the day I gave birth to Joaqui last year. The lymph nodes taken from him was said to be TB. So he had medicines and check ups for this. I wrote about his illness last Feb when we transferred him to Asian Hospital, still because of TB. HE got allergic with his meds so he stopped for a while. From then on, he wasn't able to recover at all. He was at the Manila Doctor's hospital every 2 weeks. The reason why he wasn't able to make it during Joaqui's birthday. And since we don't see any progress at all, we transferred him to St. Lukes. The doctor's informed us that its a stage 4 of cancer, Lymphoma.

A part of his brain was affected so he underwent Radioactive therapy for 10 consecutive days. And because of this, he wasn't able to spend more time with his Migo ( from Miguel, his nickname for Joaqui eversince).

June 3 ( sunday) - Mama, my MIL, called and informed us that Papa dropped his apettite having only a cup of Ensure til late afternoon. There was also a hint of blood in his urine and he had a major blow. Gelo rushed to their place after Joaqui's class at the Little Gym. Kami ni joaqui sa house lang, since di sya pwede ma expose sa patients na nagpa radioactive.

June 4 (monday) - his last radioactive session in the morning. he was so weak , hindi na nya kaya tumayo sa bed, and so Gelo cancelled na with st. lukes. He was supposed to fly back to iloilo pa ng 7 pm, pero di na talag kaya. He can't even talk when gelo asked him to stand na nga to dress up. Joaqui and I still at our place. Gelo decided to call an ambulance to take papa to st. lukes. Papa was shouting a bit kasi ayaw na nya talaga padala sa hospital. But Gelo said " Pa, kahit magalit ka pa sa kin , kailangan ka na namin dalin sa hospital, di ko kaya na ganyan ka "... After this, Gelo picked me up at our place and went to ER of St. Lukes.

Seeing Papa behind the curtains made me cry. Haven't seen him for days, and i was shocked to see him in that situation. Gelo and I talked outside ER. He said, " Nararamdaman ko Chy, malapit na". So i told him to talk to Papa, give Papa the assurance that we will take care of mama and Love, his sis... and that he (papa) can take a rest now, coz we don't wanna see him suffer much. We gave them the father and son time. We also signed a waiver at st. luke's , something about not reviving him.. no tubes, no injections.. we just want a quiet sleep for papa. We were so tired that we went home, and asked Mama and Gelo's tita to call us in case of emergency.

June 5 (Tuesday) - Woke up early coz it's the 2nd day of our house renovation, and we need to transfer to my tita's place besides our house. After GElo took a bath, sabi ko sa kanya " Eh, kung isama na natin si Joaqui sa hospital, feeling ko kasi sya na lang hinihintay ni papa, kung di tyo papasukin, ok lng at least we tried.. " He agreed naman kasi daw napaisip na din sya. I was on a rush to give Joaqui a bath. Kaka madali ko , naiwan pa namin ung bag ni joaqui.. buti di pa kami nakakalayo. We were at St lukes at exactly 1pm. And bilin ko tlaga kay Gelo, derecho lang lakad, pag di tyo na notice, Ok. Kasi sa Asian , di pinayagan si Joaqui, mejo strict sila tlaga. In a breeze, we were at Papa's room. We said na nasa tabi nya si Migo nya... and he gave us a big smile twice. Around 5pm nag merienda pa kmi ni gelo sa cafeteria. Joaqui naman nakatulog na. So we went back to papa's room.

HIniga ko na sa Joaqui in one of the couches, kasi super tulog talaga sya. In such a short time, Papa's heart monitor made a long beep. I wasn't able to see the numbers, but Gelo said that his heartbeat and BP went to Zero. We looked at each other. Gelo's tita decided to pray the rosary, and we were all crying. Gelo went out. I then followed him, i knew he will stay at the chapel. I asked him to go back tot he room and talk to papa. We all gave papa a hug and a kiss at the forehead. I was looking at his breathing patter, and the interval was getting longer. Mama's BP went to 170 when he hugged Papa. So we gave her meds pa for hyper tension. Gelo went out again. I was there when Papa had his last breath, it was so peaceful. I went to the chapel, i saw Gelo and hugged him. I cant say anything, i just cried. And we went back to papa's room.

Joaqui was still asleep then. We still hugged papa that minute coz we know that he can still feel us. I just know. Coz we can still feel him too.

I think he really waited for Joaqui, his Migo. And he wants na sabay pa sila mag sleep.

I am attaching Gelo's speech during the mass for Papa

" In behalf of our family, we are whole heartedly thankful to all of you who extended your outmost sympathy to us. We are so glad to know that Papa has touched a lot of lives not only ours, his family, but to a lot of people especially his kababayans at Ilo ilo and Antique.

We know that many would miss Papa, our relatives, friends and colleagues. But this shouldn't be a time to grieve. For God was so good to end his pains and sufferings here on Earth. God saw that he is getting tired, and so He wrapped His arms around him and gave him rest.

Last Tuesday, i saw him sleeping, so peaceful and free from pain, that I could not wish him back to suffer again. WE hope that as you remember Papa, you offer a simple prayer for his soul, that he would eternally rest in peace with God, our creator.

Pa, there are no goodbyes, just see you soon... "

You are terribly missed Papa

In memory of a loving husband and father
Alfredo L. Abellon
1949-2007