525,600 minutes without Mama

March 2, 2006 -

at 4 in the morning, our maid woke us up (gelo and I), coz my lola (we call her mama) was having an asthma attack. I was 8 mos preggy then, and it was just Gelo who took her to he hospital. She had a heart attack on their way to the hospital. Gelo would recount to me every scene that he would recall... on how mama looked as the ER staff carried her out of our car.. on how mama looked when the staff tried to revive her...he knew then that mama couldn't make it anymore.

I was at home with our maid, i was lying in her bed, asking the maid what happened as i was holding the phone. I called my tita who lives near us to be with me coz i was a bit nervous then. my sister who works at the hospital would call me from time to time updating me on mama's status.. at first she was revived... then she called that mama had an arrest again.. my tita and i prayed at the altar then i called my cousins to pray for mama too. .. ate called again, mama was revived and she would need to stay at the ICU.. ok fine... but i then the phone rang again.. i asked my tita to answer it.. and there... my tita kept nodding her head as tears began to flow. it suddenly struck me.. i didn't waited for any words... i cried and cried as i hugged her pillow.

yes it was exactly a year ago... five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes. and everything is still fresh in my mind. there were days that i would cry alone... days that i wonder how life would be if mama is still around... everything is still here... all the memories.

Everything happens for a reason. Its a matter of acceptance. I know that mama is at peace now. I just wish that i was able to say goodbye to her.. hugged and kissed her

And Just like what my cousin dorxie and sister ricca said, we all have to move on. and truly, its easier now coz we have Joaqui.

Today, I pray to God not just for the repose of her soul. I pray because I thank God for giving us Mama..Our guidance.. our protector, our guardian angel.

To mama, wherever you are.. we all love you and we all miss you. Give our hugs to tatay !